Your success in the World of Online Dating depends upon how carefully you follow the tried and tested formulas. These emanate from countless experiences of women around the country and the world and should be followed.
"To others we are not ourselves but a performer in their lives cast for a part
we do not even know that we are playing.”
Princess Elizabeth Bibesco 1897 - 1945
“Love is the whole history of a woman’s life, it is but an episode in a man’s."
Madame de Stael 1766-1817
This formula is just that, a formula…you must follow it if you expect to get the results. The suggestions are there to save you the mistakes of others. There are no guarantees in life and a relationship may start off well and look as if there are no potholes in the path, yet down the yellow brick road of life a big cement block appears. At least you tried, you opened yourself up to the emotional feelings of caring and maybe this time you lost. Don’t fear either success or failure in this venture. Just kick any fears out the door and jump in…but do so with intelligence. If something doesn’t’ work you pick yourself up and know in your heart you did all the right thing and just move on. There is another perfect someone out there for you.
BABY STEP ONE:
Great news, you have finally decided that the Internet is a great place to meet people and you are going to give it a chance. The first step is to choose and join a site. There are so many out there. Just Google singles dating sites and then take a look at what they offer and make your decision. Some suggestions if you are over 40 Match.com or OurTime.com are good. Once that is done you will need to post your profile and picture.
Unearth a great picture of yourself or have someone take a fresh new one. This is the digital age and you can have a fabulous picture in a matter of minutes.
Do not shoot any provocative photos with overexposed tits or asses thinly layered in dental floss pretending to be a swimsuit.
This will drive your profile right down the path to the bedroom quicker than you can say Heidi Fleiss. Now if casual sex is what you want the Internet is really the place for that as well and a dental floss picture of you will no doubt bring instant replies. Make no mistake, if a friend with benefits is what you want then the Internet is happy to provide it. For now I want to focus on someone seeking a relationship with perhaps a future. No pictures of yourself from a decade ago. Stay current, make the picture attractive but not overdone. Try to show an easy casual side to yourself.
Once you have burrowed through the annoying personal details of your user name, password, then height and weight …and I want to add this right here and now:
DO NOT MAKE YOUR USER NAME SEXY.
Resist the urge to call yourself Hot-2-Trot or Sexy Lady or Sex Slave or Kinky Babe, Juicy Babe, Dom4U or anything even close to that.
This provocative type of name will only lead to unwanted e-mail responses from scores of horny guys and girls. Keep it cute, smart, flirty, witty, funny but not sex-driven or sexual or even sensual. A note on your vital statistics: This is where many of you get stuck in a rut that you cannot get out of. If you weigh 200 lbs don’t lie and say you are slender or athletic or that you weight 120 or are just voluptuous because you will be found out on the very first date.
On age: If you are fortunate enough to have a Portrait of Dorian Gray in your attic and you are 50 but look 35...by all means put your age at 38 – 41 . I would still stay in a reasonable age range for your prospective dates but remember, if you are 55 - 60 and looking for someone between 45 and 60 you cannot put your true age down and find happiness in the Internet world.
A lovely friend of mine did just that…she told the truth and said she was 53. Her responses after a week, zero; after two still zero; after three she was preparing to write her own epitaph when I suggested that she lop off a few years and take her age to 48 a mere five-years below her true age. She did and found that the responses started to arrive. No Prince Charming but at least she felt better.
We are a society of youth-driven, youth-oriented people. Magazines and newspapers scream out that you should be younger, better, slimmer, Botoxed, filled with collagen, sculpted, manicured and trussed like a turkey. The younger the better slurred the toupeed lawyer in “Must Like Dogs.” “I just thought you would be younger” he leered. “How much younger” a wary Diane Lane replied. “Oh 24 or even 18 would be okay.” He was not a day younger than 50 himself and looked like 40 miles of bad road. But the youth bug had bitten and he needed some medication. Bring it on! So the rule of thumb is: if you can lop some years off of your age, do it! Do not lie about anything that can be discovered when someone lays eyes upon you. You will regret it.
Under no circumstances should you put “Loves long walks on the beach and fireplaces in the summer.”
Also do not put “Must enjoy ….anything.” Why? Don't be trite because it shows that you haven’t really thought about what you want and what you don’t want. This is true for the men who post and is something you must dissect when looking for a partner.
Try to be original in your thinking and your words. Be cutting edge, be edgy, be a little reckless but not in a sexual way, be adventuresome, be risky, be exciting, be passionate but not in a sexual way…be passionate in your words and your details of your life. Be interesting, be unique, have passion!
You want someone to read this profile and want to meet you because you are quite simply YOU. Choose your words carefully and don’t drone on about kids or family or work. No one cares, not even you. Write an ad that would make you stop, read it and then want to reply right away. An eye catching ad that is clever and unique and makes you stand out from all the rest in a positive way.
A Word About The Headline.
Make it fun and light and catchy. Think Madison Avenue and what would catch your eye. Think clever and witty… There are millions of seekers out there online so you want to set yourself apart from the rest. This holds really true when answering someone or flirting with someone. You want them to open up your email and check you out. They may have hundreds of replies if they are a hottie with the right specifications…so get noticed. Some thoughts are:
Hot Princess On White Horse Seeks Full Fledged Prince
Love Life and Laughter? Let’s Laugh Together!
No Risk No Reward…Are You My Prince?
Climbing Mt.Everest Seeking Sherpa!
Calling All Princes…No Frogs Allowed!
You can come up with some witty fantastic Headlines of your own. So start making a list now and then pick the one that suits you best.
Our Next Online Series is going to get really serious…about Deal Breakers and how to say Next to the Brad Pitt Look-alike staring back at you from that website. Questions…click away…Just Ask!
“It is assumed that the woman must wait, motionless, until she is wooed. That is how the spider waits for the fly.”
George Bernard Shaw 1856 - 1950