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I hear it all the time. Women telling me about the new man that they met last weekend and how much into her he is. She is just waiting for him to call her. He wants her to accompany him to Europe in a couple of weeks and he just couldn't keep his hands off of her. 

It was electric what they were feeling unlike anything she had ever experienced before. They were just glued to one another at the cocktail party for Dudley Do-right on Saturday night and could I believe that they went to the same high school...imagine that!

She then drones on about how wonderful he is, tall, good looking, charming and very much a communicator. I ask has Mr. Wonderful been married but she doesn't really know. Has he been in any relationships for more than a week...again I get the blank stare.

So what did she find out during this incredible pairing of souls that lasted a full 4 hours of cocktail party conversation? He drinks vodka straight up with a few ice cubes and he went to Portola High School either before or after she did.

Anything else? Sadly no. While she was lapping up the pseudo attention being lavished on her by this person and enjoying the words we and us and let's she was avoiding doing the very thing that would have given her much needed answers and let her know whether this man was a real contender for her heart.

Yes you were glued together for the entire evening and he did take your telephone number. As a matter of fact he took it twice on the back of a cocktail napkin that by the time he reached the car could have ended up in the gutter. He said he wanted to take you to dinner, soon. He would call you, soon.

Did he call? Not yet is usually the reply I have come to expect. But you argue, he cries at sad movies and we had so much in common. Surely he will call...maybe he lost my number. But he didn't call and a month from that night he still hadn't called.

You revisit the evening constantly, every word you uttered every glance you glanced everything he said and didn't say. You dissect every sentence and your inflection. It "seemed"so perfect.

You ferret out his business card, and call the office. Voice Mail answers and in your most seductive and interesting voice you leave your very rehearsed message.

The saddest part about all of this is that you are the one feeling badly and you did nothing. If and when he finally does call he will no doubt have a litany of excuses all of which prevent him from seeing you anytime soon.

Stop torturing yourself! You did nothing wrong and the evening could have been sheer perfection...for you. The conversation may have flowed like water...for you. The dynamics of your personality and his may have been incredible...for you.

You may have had everything in common and nothing. Once this man of many faces is out of your presence you have no idea what he was thinking or doing. Perhaps you were just an interesting diversion from his normal day to day existence.

Just remember this, the men that you meet at parties and events should be looked at as actors vying for a part in your play called life. They will do and say anything to get that part. So just view your evenings in a more analytical manner and don't be so overwhelmed with emotion when you meet someone. Listen to what they are really saying and above all ask questions and listen to the answers that they give not what you want to hear. There is a difference.


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