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Dating doesn't have to be an effort in futility or a dreaded event.  There are some things you can do that will make your evening or afternoon more pleasant and at the end of the day give you the results that you want. After all, you would not waste time interviewing a Janitor for the position of CEO would you?  So don't waste time going out with inappropriate men.  You are a Warrior Woman and can take yourself out anytime you wish...

The first thing I recommend is know what you want.  Are you just going out to fill the evenings or do you want a real relationship?

Does a friend with benefits appeal to you?  If so then by all means plunge into the pool of available friends.  If a real relationship is what you want with an ending of marriage and family then you need to do a few things before you head out.

  1. Make a list of the qualities you want in a partner.  Dig deep and leave no stone unturned.
  2. Make a list of the things you just will not tolerate in a partner.  Dig deeply and be honest with yourself.  If you hate the smell of cigarettes...put down non-smoker and mean it.  That means even if the guy in question smokes one or two a day or a week.  Non-smoker means just that.  In the end you will rue the day that you bent even an inch for these deal breakers.
  3. Dress appropriately.  You can look hot and sexy BUT take care not to look like you are making an offer that he won't be able to refuse.  There is a fine line here.
  4. Pick a place to meet that is Public and not far from where you live in case you don't have a car.  If you drive try to stay a reasonable distance from home so you are not driving late at night.  The most important thing is to pick a public place and stay there.  Don't rewrite the Basic Rules of Safety.
  5. Be interested and interesting.  Listen and learn but be personable.  Ask questions but don't put the guy on trial.
  6. Be yourself!  Don't try to change your personality.  If a real relationship is what you want then this person needs to care about you and love you for who you are and who you aren't.
  7. Let him know you had a nice evening.  Don't be afraid to say that you had fun and maybe you could do it again.  Sometimes the other person is a bit shy and will welcome you letting him have that information early on.  The only downside is if he isn't interested...but then you know right away.
  8. A short note the next day telling him what a lovely evening you had is a  nice gesture.  Just don't get possessive.  A thank you I had a really nice time.  Hope we can do it again soon.   That should be sufficient.

If you have some concerns or questions...Just ask!  



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